take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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