She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
