When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
