the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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