drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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