Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
