Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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