i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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