No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
