Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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