.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
