He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
