Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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