I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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