my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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