yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
