Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
