It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
