Pants 0. Shit 1.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
