My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
