Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
