Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
