May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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