My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
