He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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