You smell like stripper and shame
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
should my penis look like a turkey
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
