there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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