You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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