if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
