Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
