K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
there's paper in my vomit.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
