were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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