I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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