I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
