TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
