it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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