He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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