4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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