porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
