It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
