In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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