I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My dad is sitting where you rode me
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
