What did we do last night that was yellow?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
