Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
