At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
