I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
