insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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