We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think your dad took our porno
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
