Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
