Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
